This is not my project, this is just...venting? Trying to clear my mind maybe? Well, whatever this is, I hope some of you, or anyone responds with their thoughts.
What does it mean to live forever? The Egyptians envied it and strived to accomplish it. But what does it mean? I think it's an opinionated question. What does it mean to you personally? Does it mean that you want to live and be a physical being until the end of the earth? Or do you simply want to be remembered throughout the ages? Do you simply want your story to be told and heard and known and want to be know? It's human nature to fear death and to want immortality. We want to live a full life and experience everything there is to experience in every way there is to experience it. We want more time on earth and we want more time with those that we love and cherish.
So why can't we?
We spend all this time and thought worrying about what will happen once we die or once a loved one dies. Will I ever see them again? I didn't get to say goodbye. Did they know that I loved them? What were the last words I said to that person? Why do we bother ourselves with these depressing questions? Is there a world beyond this one that we continue our lives? Maybe in different surroundings or settings. And, if so, what's the point of death in the first place? Some dirty game mother nature plays with every living creature. Or something deeper?
I, myself ask these questions almost daily. Ever since my aunt died in January of 2007, I have asked these questions. I think back on the time I had with her and I envy myself. I long so badly to see her again, to spend more time with her. To relive the time we had together, the afternoons we would spend roaming aimlessly around the city talking about nothing and everything all at once.
The Egyptians believed that they had defeated death. That, through their rituals they had accomplished eternal life. But they all knew that they died. They still felt pain and illness. So where did their spirits go? Limbo? Hell? Heaven? Purgatory? Whatever you want to call it or whatever you believe in, (please share) I don't know, I was always taught that if you believed that a certain man walked the earth and died and rose again and was called the son of something called "god" that your soul would be forever "saved" from the fiery armpits of a terrible place called hell.
But this has COMPLETELY gotten off topic. What was our topic again? Oh yes, time. I don't know. I guess this one's got me stumped. I think I know what I want to portray, but I haven't figured out how to portray something I can't touch. I don't even know if I can define it. But I do know that I can feel it. I can taste it. I can see it when I dream at night.
I know this was long and I thank you for sticking with me! Please. Tell me your thoughts. Your feelings on this. If any.
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8 comments:
Interesting thoughts. I think mortality is ultimately what gives life its meaning.
Where to begin. Time: a made up word to measure things. We give everything a "name" so we can talk about it. I am not even sure that we can label 'time' anyway. Something so infinite. Though your post was almost more about religion and death than time.
I am sorry to hear about your loss. We all know it will happen to the best of us, to all of us. But not really. We have a conscience life in these bodies but (in my opinion and maybe this can be proved with 'science' but i don't know) we are nothing more than elements and energy. Our bodies - the elements and our souls - the energy. We were always here, just in a different form. I know about religion but i am not sure how i feel about it. Jesus was a man that walked the earth, i can believe that. The Bible, that's a little trickier. You think that something so 'true' would have more evidence towards it. Sorry, my own tangents...I think you are in the right place when it comes to time. You say you can feel it, taste it. Dreams may even be the best representation of time that there is. You are in this world that seems to go on forever, a place where you can manipulate time and at the same 'time', it doesn't exist. Time is also perceived so it is something that will be different to everyone (like everything else). To be honest, i am not sure what i think of time and i am just as stumped as you are. This is just my perspective and i took this 'time' to share with you.
I guess my point is that life goes by so fast and you don't realize it until it's all gone by. I always thought my grade school years would NEVER end as I'm sure lots of other people feel the same or similarly. But now that I look back, I see that they just flew by! I mean, it feels like just yesterday that I was in middle school...and then a blink later I'm graduating high school? lol.
Anyway. I guess that's my excuse for the morbidity. lol
I see where you are coming from and you inadvertently pushed one of my own buttons. I lost my father and my brother when I was 3 and basically my mother (emotionally) more-or-less left a bit later... My life has been tinged with thoughts of mortality and the shortness of life. It tends to make me very impatient. I always think “What if I die before I get to ______?” It really makes me value what I have and not put up with things that are petty and mean. I don’t have time for all that!
It wasn't until I was in college that I heard of the Japanese concept of mono no aware (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware) I recommend you look it up…
Basically mono no aware just means that things are more precious and derive the most beauty from the fact of their "temporary-ness." The temporality of things is what makes them so painfully beautiful. You miss them before they are even gone, but then just when you miss them most (while you are thinking about them being gone) you can see they are still here because they haven't left yet, which makes you value them all that much more, which makes you miss them even more... You get the idea? It is perfect, I think, even if it is a bit maddening. Sometimes I have to just say screw it and go watch some Monty Python!
These thoughts really defined a lot of things for me, though, and I have fallen in love with the cycle of birth, life, death, decay, rebirth from the decay, and so on... I have learned to see beauty in the thing that scares me most. Call me morbid, but that’s how it is in Bethville!
beth that sounds like exactly what i'm going through and feeling right now. thank you for the post. i hope to create a project that reflects these thoughts and feelings. ^_^ (I think i've got it!!)
Kudos to Beth. I already miss traditional art because I feel like it is fleeing in the digital age. Life goes by so fast and you can only make time for so much. Every year, everyday goes by faster than the last. Snowballin. Cherish every moment and be careful what you take for granted.
I don't believe we are here by mistake or chance. We are here because of love, whether it be our own love of life and each other, or the love of someone else who put us here and gave us our own hearts to love with. Many many people find the ideal of God to be...well...less than ideal. I'd like to open their minds a bit and ask them to stop believing what the "Christian" down the street says or the youth pastor from a decade ago use to say. If there's anything I know to be true, it's that we have choices to make in life. Whether there is a God or not is one of 'em. It's not a topic to be scared of or to hate on, or to defend to the death like so many people do...it's one of those "right" questions that deserve an answer. Life in a sense is a period of time for us to decide what we believe and who we are. So decide to believe or not, decide to do what you love or not, decide to live and think for yourself.
If it helps, here's how I came to my answer for the "God" question:
-I made a list of what I needed to survive. Go ahead, make one ^_^. Research it if you need to. For a human baby to continue living it needs food, shelter, and love.
-I made a list of what I wanted out of life. It was longer...but when I narrowed it down it was roughly: love, fun, and a purpose.
-So, I decided to follow after those three things in life. If it involved love, having fun, or fulfilling a purpose - it peaked my interest.
Now I'm sure your mind can race to a million things under each category, and you're right. Love, fun, and purpose can mean different things to different people...well, I'm asking, what do they mean to you?
To me, FUN is laughter and relaxation. Anything enjoyable to me when I'm both by myself and with other people.
To me, LOVE is an action, not just a feeling. I choose to believe in God because He claims to be love itself. What I read in the Bible is more compelling to me than any other page in any other book. It's not always easy to understand, but that's why there are different versions (for me! I need it to be simple! lol). (again, it's taken me my lifetime to believe, so if I sound "excited", I am! Life opens up once you begin putting faith into things.) I've learned that loving only yourself can hurt, and leave you lonely. I've learned that people aren't perfect, and neither is their way of loving, but God's love is perfect and he's trying to teach it to us.
And PURPOSE...purpose is one very forgotten key. It's what can drive us to play World of Warcraft for days on end, or what can make us long to be Frodo or Luke Skywalker...purpose becomes in our minds what defines us in the end. In choosing to believe in Jesus, here's what He promises - in exchange for a mind full of doubts, I will give you peace. Instead of an uncertain end, I will give you a home forever filled with love. And in exchange for a life lived alone, I will give you a life in which I will always walk beside you.
He says we are called unto a purpose...in my mind, that purpose is to discover perfect love.
Yes, I know how I sound, lol. I'm a girl, an artist, a poet, and a religist (which I just made up ^_^'). So, if you still think I'M weird, you're weird, jk. All that to say, I try to be an open book, and it's hard to offend me so have at it! :) I love to discuss this stuff, and I'm always willing to talk more.
But I'm like also open to talking about gameing and anime and crap too, so...don't limit yourself, lol.
Oh! and totally check out my time poem, it kinda goes along the same lines.
http://neo-volition.blogspot.com/2008/09/times-hands.html
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